I wasn’t quite sure how to take it then, nor when it has happened since. Was it an accusation, a mere description, or something else. The person had asked what did, and I described my coaching and how effective it was in the lives of my clients.
First my honest description, then came the exclamation, “You are supremely confident!” I simply said yes. With a little more analysis, I suspect the word ‘supremely’ is a bit over the top, but I am confident in what I can do, yes. I was glad when the person accepted it as an honest response – which it was. (*see Postscript below)
What are you really good at?
This blog isn’t primarily about me. Its about you. The truth is, like me you’re really good at 100s of things. Reading this. Speaking English. Telling a story. Getting dressed. Eating lunch. Saying kind things to complete strangers (maybe you haven’t found out just HOW good you are at that one yet!) I’m good at Therapeutic Coaching. Very good in fact. To deny it for the sake of some inconsistent false modesty serves no one in the end.
Some people are really good at doing things that harm them. Putting themselves down. Self deception (that’s telling themselves things that aren’t true). Jumping to negative conclusions. Describing themselves as being low in confidence, or hopeless, or a failure. With such thoughts and words they literally form their physical brains, and the thoughts become self-fulfilling.
Those of us who have left what Robert Kiyosaki calls the ‘Rat Race’ of employment to start their own businesses or become self-employed know that unless we are confident in what we can do (and it goes without saying, can match the words with reality) potential clients are very unlikely to be confident in what we can do for them, with disastrous results for both the client and the business.
I have had the privilege of changing the lives of uncountable thousands of people’s lives across the world through those I have coached and trained through Powerchange. I suspect only a tiny percentage of those people would be different (freer, happier, more fulfilled and content, more motivated, stronger,richer, more inspired, off their psychotherapeutic medication) if my response to that statement had been a mumbling self-effacing, pseudo-humble denial. What might happen when you speak honestly about what you’ve done. Besides which, would you go to an eye surgeon who was stumbling and unsure of himself? I wouldn’t.
Know what you are good at.
Accept that you are good at it.
Be Better at it tomorrow than you are today.
Don’t be afraid to say so.
If this blog has highlighted something important for you, take a moment to email me about it, firstname.lastname@example.org. You might need a bit of therapeutic coaching – or maybe find out you really don’t!
*PS: I had explained how people change when I work with them, often radically and permanently, often to the surprise and delight of their GP, and occasionally in the face of disbelief from their psychiatrist. Sadly, the unenlightened view of many so-called ‘psychological disorders’ still is that they are incurable, so “We’ll put you on these tablets for life”, as one person quoted their GP, becomes the norm. My client didn’t take the tablets at all, so wasn’t on them for even a day, and has never needed them.